(1)CASE, It Was November, Part One
What is falling in love? He is a god in my eyes – the man who is allowed to sit beside you – he who listens intimately to the sweet murmur of your voice, the enticing laughter that makes my own heart beat fast. If I meet you suddenly, I can’t speak – my tongue is broken; a thin flame runs under my skin; seeing nothing, hearing only my own ears drumming, I drip with sweat; trembling shakes my body and I turn paler than dry grass. At such times death isn’t far from me — Sappho
Employing a strategy of an investigative reporter, I gather evidence delineating a landscape of themes and narrative that begin to justify my behavior, actions and desires as a gay man in society. The objects/subjects on display — drawings, notebooks, photographs, documents, video, (and, in particular, one beautiful boy) are introduced as tangible evidence exposing a compulsive desire to flirt with the subject as object and to fall in love with that subject. With self-referential and self-conscience poetic aspirations I objectify my subjects. I not only fall in love with the subject as object but I fall in love with the falling in love. The human aspect pulls me in and the newly created object becomes the subject of my desire. The tension that is present is that the “objects” are human. I try use each new body of work to continue exploring my willingness to turn self-witness, and go beyond the mere confessional. Who is the real subject here? By speaking with and from my heart I believe I speak to, and of, our shared human condition.
Video: UNTITLED (falling 1 and 2) A meditation on a friends gruesome suicide that unexpectedly came to mind as I was walking the beach of Long Island on a cold March afternoon and imagined what a beautiful suicide could look like. What his suicide should have looked like was at once a shocking contemplation of an endorsement of his act. I became to see myself as a participant having remembered a phone conversation with him just a week before the event. I sent Robert a segment of a film opus I was working on based on Mahler’s 2nd Symphony with five movements. He wrote me and said why the 2nd Symphony? A gay film should have six movements. When I asked him why, he replied. “I thought it was funny.”